When She Cut Her Hair
by Wolfal E. Hinsley
Summary: Losing someone always hurts. Losing Matt was different. Something had been wrong. They all said that he was gone, but a little sister knows when big brother needs her. She knows Matt needs her. She's not sure how, but he needs her. If he needs her, then he can't be gone. If he isn't really gone, then she will find him… no matter the costs.
1. Chapter 1

**I Do Not Own Voltron.**

* * *

One: When He Said Goodbye.

When he said goodbye, she'd been excited. Everyone had been. Had there been a sense of sadness and fear when she let him go? When they watched him touch the stars? Of course. But there had also been pride. Her father and brother had made it. History would always say that her brother and her father were the first to travel to the edge of the solar system.

She remembered the day he left perfectly. She'd worn a blue dress and had her hair down for the occasion. She normally hated dresses and preferred to wear her hair up and out of her eyes, but that had been a special occasion. Her mom had insisted she dressed her best for the send off. She and her mom had gotten into a glaring contest over the whole ordeal, but ultimately, her mom had the upper hand.

Her dad said she looked pretty. Matt teased her relentlessly about it the entire day as she trudged around the Garrison compound in the dress. Her mom said she finally looked like a young woman. She was just desperate to get a change of clothes.

Her dad and Matt had been dressed up in their Garrison uniforms. They looked mature and prepared for the mission ahead. If they were afraid for the mission they planned on going on, they certainly didn't show it. Their excitement had shown in their eyes. Pride seemed to have buzzed off of every Holt that night. They were history makers. They were important. They would one day change the world.

Nothing could take the feeling of utter excitement and pride. Not a thing in the world.

Before the launch, Her mom had her and Matt take a picture just outside the launch site. Her mom talked about how handsome he looked in his Garrison Uniform and how lovely she looked in her dress. Her mom had bragged about how proud of a mother she was, to have two brilliant children, one of which would forever go down in history.

When all the fuss was over, Matt pulled her aside for a last goodbye.

"All right, Katie." Matt said, grinning at her.

"No." She had said, "Call me Pidge." She hated to give in to the silly nickname, but it had grown on her. It was a thing she would share with her brother, even if they were separated by all of space, "I'm going to miss that… and you."

"I'm going to miss you too." Matt said, "But, you know… space! I'm so excited!"

"I know!" She agreed, "But I can't believe I have to go through middle school without you."

"You can talk to me anytime." Matt said with a wink.

"I thought I wasn't allowed to bother you guys on your mission." She said, crossing her arms in a scolding matter. Matt laughed.

"Of course you're not, but you know the code." He cocked his head to the side with a wide mischievous grin, "What the Garrison doesn't know." They laughed before he removed the wide circular glasses from his face and passed it to her.

"Hey, check this out." He said.

"...Don't you need these?" She asked.

"Not anymore, the Garrison fixed my eyes," He struck a pose, "I look way cooler now, yes?" She shook her head.

"No." She told him, putting the glasses on her own face to find he had replaced them with fake lenses so she could use them without hurting her own eyes. He grinned at the sight before getting serious.

"I'll be back soon." He said, crossing his heart. She slugged him in the arm.

"You better be, or I'm coming up to space to get you." She had promised.

"I don't doubt it." Matt said, "You seem to be able to do anything."

"You're the one going to space." She said.

"I am aren't I?" He said, "Don't worry Pidge, I will see you soon." Of course, that had been back then. Back when he had said goodbye. The launch happened, just as everyone had planned, and for months, the world watched the progress of the Kerberos mission. Every day, she had eagerly awaited the updates they would give the world about their mission. She would day dream about all the things Matt was seeing. She would lay awake at night with a book and a homemade computer and talk to the boy in the stars. She would rub the frame of his glasses and some nights miss him. Other nights she would just be proud that he was her brother.

Then, one night, the night they said they would land on Kerberos, everything changed. Her mom had been excited that day. Katie had been excited. They all had been excited. The day had come were everything they had worked for would be accomplished. They didn't know. They didn't know what had happened.

Katie had been getting ready to watch the landing on TV with her mother. Instead, there was a news reporting their ship had crashed due to pilot error. Later that night, there was a knock on their door. Her mom went to answer it, only to find a Garrison man in full uniform on the other side. Tucked under one arm was his hat as he addressed Katie's mother with the most somber of tones.

She remembered being completely numb. She remembered not feeling anything at all. Not even as her mother burst into tears and demanded to the poor Garrison man why her husband and son were not coming home. She just stood there, staring with her mouth open in shock and her eyes completely wide.

Pilot error? The male Holts had died because Takashi Shirogane, one of the greatest pilots in all the world and highest ranking Garrison recruits of his age, had made a pilot error? She didn't believe it. She couldn't believe it. She spun on her heels upon hearing the news and ran to her room, pulling out her computer and opening up the book. She needed to know. She had to know if it was true. It had to be fake. He and her father had to be alive. They just had to be.

She sat there all night.

She waited for any sign he was still there.

She hoped.

She prayed.

She watched.

But nothing happened. The universe was still. The world was silent. Everything was calm.

She denied it. She denied it. Pressing away all feeling that said he was gone. She let herself stay numb. She let herself remain completely stoic as she looked to the stars and begged her brother softly to talk back. To say something. Do anything. To give them a sign that he and her father were alive and okay.

He never replied.

And slowly, no matter how hard she tried, her heart began to hurt and her eyes began to long to see his smile again.

"Matt." She begged quietly, "It's me, Pidge." She trembled, "Your little sister."


	2. Chapter 2

**I Do Not Own Voltron.**

* * *

Two: When She Couldn't Cry.

When she couldn't cry, she had been absolutely ashamed. Everyone had gathered around for the ceremony as they mourned the loss of the Kerberos crew. They all wore clothes of black, but the sun still continued to shine as if all was alright.

In the movies, when people died, it was always rainy. Katie had imagined the funeral to be bleak and dark. She had imagined the rain pouring down and the sky crying with her over the ones she'd lost.

It had not been like that. The sun had been out. It was a beautiful day. Warm and peaceful. It was like the world loved to tease her. Her father and brother were gone, but the sun was still out. The world still kept turning even when she knew it shouldn't. Everything kept going. Life went on without them, and she hated it.

When she came to pay her respects, she was prepared to cry. She was prepared to say goodbye and she was prepared to feel the sting of losing them all. Everyone watched as she came forwards to the memorial. They all muttered about how tragic it had been. How much she had lost. She hadn't been prepared to get there and still feel nothing. To still not feel like they were gone. To still somehow know they were out there. She got to the front and she didn't cry. She didn't even open her mouth to speak. She just stared stoically at the memorial and wondered.

Then, when she thought she would stay numb forever, a distinct feeling rose in her chest. Losing someone always hurts. It was a rule. Losing Matt was different. Something had been wrong. She didn't feel sadness or pain. She didn't feel anger or rage. She felt wrong. She felt anxious. She felt like something wasn't right.

_Pilot error. _She frowned, those words irritating her. Everyone knew Shiro would never do anything to put his mission in jeopardy. His arm had not been a problem, and he certainly wouldn't have attempted to land the ship if it had been hurting too much. He would have orbited around Kerberos and waited for the next opportunity to land. Also, hadn't they predicted the ship to have landed a few days earlier than when the Garrison had announced they would be broadcasting the landing? If so, why had she and her mother learned about her father and brother's untimely deaths in a crash landing days after the ship was supposed to land?

These thoughts rushed through her head as she realized nothing added up. She closed her eyes and turned away from the memorial, ashamed with her inability to cry but revived with a new sort of fire in her chest.

"They can't be dead." She declared softly to the people watching, "It doesn't make any sense." her mom looked up, tears brimming her eyes at her daughter's remark. Katie knew her mom thought Katie was in denial. She knew her mother would assume that Katie was just having a hard time accepting the truth. But it was the opposite. She was accepting the truth. The truth was, her father and brother were not dead. It made no sense.

"Katie-" Her mother began.

"No." Katie growled, "Don't tell me they are gone. I would know if they were gone. They aren't! I can feel it! Matt is still out there! He has to be! We can't abandon them! We have to find them! He's not gone, Mom! He's still alive! I swear! Matt and dad are not dead! And I'll prove it! I promise you I will prove it!" She turned and ran before anyone could stop her, her eyes narrowed in a new determination as she left the cemetery and ran. She ran home, slamming the door closed behind her and pulling her hair back up into its ponytail. She grabbed the glasses off of her desk and rubbed at it rims, contemplating what she would do next.

"The… the Garrison! They have records, information, data on everything that happened during the Kerberos mission. If there is any evidence on what happened to them… well… it has to be there, it just has to be!" She declared. Excitement jostled through her like electricity. It wasn't a happy excitement, but a determined and anxious one. She had to know what had happened. She had to see the truth with her own eyes. She couldn't settle for anything less than the truth.

Then as quickly as her excitement grew it faultured.

"...How am I going to get the information from the Garrison? They have a closed server. I couldn't hack into it even if I wanted to. I would need to be there myself to get a good look at the mission logs." She sat up, stroking her chin in compilation.

"I'll just need to break in. They have a school there for new pilots and cadets. Kids come and go in all the time. That means they have some weaknesses in their security. I can use that to my advantage. I can try and sneak through the school and get onto one of the professor's computers and use that to access the main servers. From there, I should be able to hack my way into the Kerberos mission logs." She grinned madly, knowing her plan could actually work. She was small enough, it wouldn't be that hard to slip under their radar using the school's entrances and hacking the security to make way for her break in would be a piece of cake if she got close enough. Once she got in, it would only be a matter getting in and out without being seen by any of the Garrison officers.

"Of course," She said, leaning back in her chair, "I'll have to be careful and plan this all out right. If they catch me at all, they'll know I was asking too many questions and keep a closer eye on me. The Garrison would frown upon the idea of a little girl looking at all their classified and top secret information. I can ask questions about the accident before I make the attempt, but only enough to seem like someone coping with a loss. Once I have the proof I need from the Garrison, I'll need to be careful."

Then she heard a door slam and flinched, peering out of her room and coming out of her thoughts long enough to see her mom had come home. She looked tired from crying and absolutely distraught. Instantly Katie felt her heart melt. Her mom didn't know. She didn't realize Katie was serious. Matt and Dad were not gone. Her mom thought that the world was lost when it wasn't, and Katie knew the only way to show her mother that was to find the proof, otherwise Katie was just a girl in denial.

Her mom saw Katie look out of her room and quickly dried her tears.

"Oh, Katie…" She said, "My brave daughter." Katie flinched.

"Mom." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. Her mother strode over to Katie's doorway and entered the girl's room, immediately wrapping Katie in a hug. Katie winced at first, a little startled before letting her mother embrace her. Katie knew the truth, but her mother did not. Her mom needed it. She needed Katie to be strong and keep acting like the world was gone. If Katie acted differently, Katie knew her mother would not be able to go on. Her mother wanted her to mourn with her. Her mother wanted Katie to be sad with her. Katie sighed, returning the embrace and wishing that she could cry, if only a little for her mother's sake.

But Katie couldn't cry.

* * *

**Sorry for calling her dress blue instead of violet in the last chapter. I was for some reason convinced it was blue despite having recently re-watched the show. Thanks for pointing it out!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I Do Not Own Voltron.**

* * *

Three. When He Made a Promise.

When he made a promise, he had always kept it. Now, as she worked diligently on her plans to break into the Garrison with blueprints and steps to her plan littering her room, Katie kept remembering his promises. Promises she knew he could no longer keep now.

He had promised to come back. But it was clear now that he simply couldn't do that. So, she intended to keep her own promise that she would go after him.

He had promised he would always be there for her. Now, as she was separated from him and could no longer feel him near, she knew she had to be brave. She had to be there for him. He was counting on her.

He had promised to listen to her. Now, he was too far to hear her calls and pleas. So, she had to listen for him.

He had promised to protect her. With him far away, he couldn't protect her anymore and he needed her. He needed her to protect him from whatever it was that separated them.

She wasn't about to make her brother a liar. She wasn't going to let him break the promises they had made. She would find him. She had made the vow. She would find him and he would keep his promises to her. It was a fact. Matt never broke his promises, and he wasn't going to start now.

"Katie! Dinner!" Her mom called from the kitchen. Katie yelped and scrambled to put away all of her plans. She heard her mother's footsteps approaching her room and the knock on the door.

"Katie, you need to come out." Her mom warned, "It's time to eat. I know it isn't easy but-" Katie swung her door open, not a hint of grief on her face, but rather, an attempt to hide the guilt she had for plotting behind her mother's back. Her mother seemed startled as Katie sniffed the air in cirosty.

"What's that?" Before her mom had any time to respond, Katie was racing towards the dining room, "It smells really good! I'm starved! Let's eat!" Her mom followed Katie in shock, watching as the girl cheered over the delicious, feel better food her mom had put her time and effort into making.

"...Katie?" Her mom asked softly, her voice wavering with even more concern. Katie froze, releasing her mistake. Katie still acted as though the world had not ended. She still acted like they were still there. She was not being a good daughter and mourning with her mother. Suddenly her hunger vanished, replace with guilt as she felt terrible for her mother. She slumped in her seat, looking rather dejected.

"...Mom… I'm… I'm sorry, I forgot…" She said solemnly, not meeting her mother's eyes. Mom let out a soft 'oh,' before leaning forwards and cupping Katie's face in her hands in a maternal and empathetic manner.

"Oh, Katie, it's okay. I'm right here. Don't you worry, I'm not leaving you." Her mother said gently, comforting Katie the best she knew how to. Katie just remained still, not sure how to respond. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to speak or just let her mother be. So she just sat there, dazed. Eventually her mom pulled away and took a seat in her place at the table. The two sat in a haunting silence. The dinner had was quiet and lonely. There was no banter of siblings or remarks from her mother about how to eat properly and with manners. There was simply silence.

In that silence, Katie been began to miss her brother once again. It had been hard when he left, but now that he had gone missing in action, it was worse. Katie didn't feel any pain or loss from Matt's dying because she knew he wasn't dead, but she did hurt from the longing to see and hear him again. She would have been heartless if she didn't desperately miss her father and brother.

Her expression finally went solem at the realization of how much she actually missed her brother. She wondered if he missed her from where ever he was. Was he scared? Was her father there with him, watching over him. Was her father afraid?

Katie shook her head.

Of course her father wasn't afraid. He was brave. As long as Shiro was with them. After all, Shiro had promised to protect them with his life. Shiro, like Matt, didn't break promises.

Yet here they were.

Katie instantly began to wonder which of the female Holts had it worse. The one who was certain her loved ones had died bravely, or they one who know that they weren't dead but had no idea where they were or what had happened. Were they hurt? Were they alone? Were they happy? Were they sad? Were they in danger? Were they safe? Katie choked on her meal, trying to hide the sob of realization that for once in her life, she didn't know something with absolute certainty. That hurt. It hurt just as badly as any grief could.

Instantly her mother was at her side, her arms around Katie.

"It's okay." Her mother whispered, "It's okay my baby girl. They are still here with us. Right here with us." Katie let out another sob.

Because they were nowhere near her. They weren't even close.


	4. Chapter 4

**I Do Not Own Voltron.**

* * *

Four. When She Broke The Rules.

When she broke the rules, she had been frightened. She had managed to get into the Garrison and sat at the office computer, her heart pounding. She'd done it. She was in. Katie tapped diligently on the keyboard. She typed away, easily hacking in. She went for the mission logs first. She found the thing she'd been looking for.

Video feeds from on Kerberos. Not from the orbit of Kerberos, but on Kerberos. They team had already been on the moon. Shiro couldn't have made a pilot error because the _the team had already been on the moon._ Katie, along with everyone else, had been lied to. It was all a lie. There was something all wrong there. Something that the Garrison was hiding. Something _important_. She was going to find out what. She _had _ to find out what it was.

Before she could dive deeper into her research, the lights into the office flicked on. She winced.

"You again?" Katie spun around to see Iverson, "Get off my computer! How'd you get past the guards""

"You said the spacecraft went down due to pilot error. I saw the video feeds from your probes. There's no evidence of a crash anywhere on Kerberos!" She accused. He growled, grabbing her by the arm and yanking her out of his seat.

"Those feeds are classified! I could charge you with treason for hacking into them." Iverson replied.

"Where's my family?" Katie asked, ignoring the fear arising in her throat at the mention of treason. Iverson ignored her, instead, escorting her towards two guards waiting.

"Escort Miss. Holt off the premises and make sure every guard knows she's never allowed on Garrison property again." Iverson ordered. She growled at him.

"You can't keep me out! I'll find the truth! I'll never stop!" She snarled. He once more ignored her, not realizing how serious her promise was. She would do anything to get her family back. No matter how much the Garrison tried to hide the truth from her, she would find out. Nothing would stop her. Nothing.

They took her away and called her mother. Her mom had been understandably upset about the entire ordeal. She demanded to know what Katie had been thinking. Katie didn't respond. After all, what would have Katie said?

'Hey Mom? You know how everyone thinks the people on the Kerberos mission died? Well, turns out that may not be true because not only is there no sign of a crash on Kerberos, but they'd been on the moon for days before they vanished. But I can't say how they vanished because there's no logical explanation of it unless they were abducted by aliens or something insane like that. So, in all, you just have to trust that I'm not in denial and grasping at straws for answers even when it might seem like it.' Because Katie would definitely say _that _to her mom. That would have turned out perfectly. She could already image how disappointed and upset her mother would get over Katie admitting something like that.

Katie was sent to her room, of course, but this time her mother lingered outside her door way with a look of concern in her saddened eyes. Katie knew she was making her mother upset, with the strange outburst of rebellion by breaking into the Garrison. Still, Katie knew that in the end, it was going to be worth it. Katie would find out the truth. She would find her father and brother and she would bring them home. Eventually, Katie felt her mother's stare soften before the woman left Katie alone altogether. The moment her mother was gone, Katie went for her computer. Plan A had failed. Though, she now had proof her family didn't die in a crash, she still didn't know the truth about their disappearances. Katie needed to get inside the Garrison again… only now… they were waiting for her. They knew she was suspicious and they knew she would make a second attempt.

So, Katie had a second plan. Plan B was one she'd been hoping to avoid. It was the riskiest. It would take serious hacking and likely even a few physical alterations to her style to disguise herself. Of course, she would have to try something elaborate, like maybe hair dye or something, to keep people from recognizing her. Though, something told her that wouldn't be enough. They would be looking for a little girl who would look at lot like Katie. If she tried to get in as a girl with dyed hair or contacts, they would still likely notice her.

That's when thought occurred to Katie as her eyes glanced down at the picture of her and her brother just before the Kerberos mission. Laying next to the picture were the glasses he'd given her with the fake lenses. Katie leaned back, pondering. It would be risky. She knew it. But it was her best idea yet. They were looking for a little girl… but no one would look twice at a small, cadet boy in communitactions… one of the easiests tasks in the Garrison. No one would think at all that a cadet boy was actually the young female genius they were expecting. Risky, but completely doable. As a bonus, Katie didn't even have to dye her hair, she just needed to act the part of a boy very well and keep her head lowered while she scavenged for info.

"Perfect." Katie said with a grin. Typing away as she worked on creating her new identity. She would have to make herself a little older to be qualified for the Garrison. Maybe sixteen? She knew she couldn't make herself too old, or someone would notice. Katie was already small for a male her age. Too old, and it would draw her attention.

And so. Katie worked all night on her project. She had no idea how much trouble it would one day land her in.


	5. Chapter 5

**I Do Not Own Voltron.**

* * *

Five. When He Was Her Hero.

When he was her hero, she was proud. She'd alway been his little sister and he had always protected her. He had always made her smile and laugh. So, as she made the character that was Pidge, she designed him after her hero, Matt Holt.

"Pidge Sam Gunderson." She read aloud, admiring the false documents she had created, "Sixteen years old. Son of Darrell and Tailor Gruderson. Accepted into the Garrison as a cadet training in communications." Her smile faltered as she read the school's admission notice.

"You will report to the Galaxy Garrison thursday morning to receive your schedule and room assignment." She read aloud. Her heart froze. Katie had forgotten about that little detail. The Garrison was a boarding school. She wouldn't be able to return home after school and be with her mother.

"...Oh, mom…" She whispered, "I'm sorry, but I have to do this, for our family." She grabbed a pin from her desk and began to scribble a letter to her mom, explaining that Katie would be going out to find answers about Matt and her father. She left the letter vague and without any real details that explained her plan. Her mother would just go to the Galaxy Garrison and pull Katie out if her mother knew her plot. Katie had to make sure her mother knew what she was doing without blowing her cover as Pidge Gunderson.

The letter finished, another, a tad more terrifying thought occured to Katie.

"Oh my gosh, I registered for a boarding school… as a boy… most boarding schools have a roommate system. Crap…" Katie facepalmed. There was no way she would be able to hide her true identity if she was forced to room with a guy. She could certainly try, but doing something like that could get weird really fast and eventually she would wind up exposing herself to her roommate. Katie had to fix that little problem.

She got into the school's server, which was much simpler to hack into that the government files that could only be accessed inside the Garrison, and pulled up the room assignments.

She found her name. She was supposed to be roomed with a guy named Lance McClain. She hadn't a clue who that was, so she decided to make some alterations and put him with a Mr. Garrett. It was someone the Lance guy had repeatedly requested to room with, but for some reason wasn't. She thought she would do them a little favor. She continued rearranging the room assignments until only one room was left with Katie as its sole occupant. She drew her hands back from her work, satisfied that she would be able to avoid something as terrible as bunking with a dude who thought she was a dude.

She crossed her arms and looked over at the picture of her brother.

"Well, Matt, what do you think? Is Pidge Gunderson a good alias or what? It's like I'll be a superhero with a secret identity from our comics… or maybe a spy." She struck a dramatic pose, imaging him teasing her for her goofiness and reminding her that Pidge was litterally deprived from the word Pidgeon. What kind of superhero was themes after a pigeon? She imagined responding by telling him that pigeons were the fiercest creatures around and that they could fly, which was more than what he had going for him.

"But Kate." She imagined him replying, "I already did fly away." Instantly the daydreamt dispute became sollum. Because Matt was gone. He'd flown the Kerberos and never came home. Her hero, Matthew Holt, was gone, somewhere in the stars. Now, it was her turn to be a hero and save him. She would find him and bring him home.

She had a plan. Not even the Garrison could stop her from learning the truth. She would save her brother. She would save her father. She would save Shiro. She had to, because she knew well enough she was the only one still looking. She was the last person who cared. She had to do this. For him. For her father.

"Matt." She said softly, "You've always been my hero. Just this once, let me be yours."


	6. Chapter 6

**I Do Not Own Voltron.**

* * *

Six: When She Cut Her Hair.

When she cut her hair, she became Pidge Gunderson. Pidge was simply a normal cadet boy in communications. That was all they ever saw at the Garrison.

Pidge felt the tips of she hair again. She still couldn't believe how short it was as she stared into the mirror. She looked like Matt. The glasses, the hair, the nervous smile. It was all Matt. Pidge didn't mind. She doubted Matt would mind either. The borrowed look would keep Matt with her. Matt was always a part of Pidge now. Pidge shook her head. It was all insane. She looked like a boy now. She was dressed up in a Garrison uniform.

She was Matt.

She was Katie.

She was Pidge.

A ghost of a smile graced her lips as she placed the letter on her bed. Then, she picked up the picture of her brother and her journal with all her notes and thoughts inside. She shoved them into her backpack, which had all her personal belongings, toiletries, snacks for the road, and a few changes of uniform. With that, she climbed out the window and carefully made her way down the vines outside her wall. The instant she touched the Earth below she took off for the Garrison, certain her mother would check on her soon and find the letter.

She found the bus stop and took it all the way to the spot in town where the Garrison buses picked up the new cadets. She waited alone at the stop. Her nerves growing as she realized just what she was conspiring to do. This… this would be the first time she would have ever truly been away from home. It was the first time she'd ever truly be on her own. Matt, her father, her mother, and Shiro were gone. She was on her own.

She got to the Garrison, where they finished her registrations as a communications cadet without a second thought. They had her do a series of tests to figure out which team she'd been placed on. To avoid suspicion, Pidge did her best to get an average score instead of an exceptional score. Iverson knew the Holts were a family of geniuses, and a young man scoring as well as Matt did or even better would likely draw some unwanted attention. The fact that she looked like a carbon copy of her brother now wouldn't help matters. Sure, the fact that they all thought she was a boy would help them overlook her. Sure, the glasses better disguised her and made her seem blind even though Iverson knew Katie Holt could see just fine. Sure, the haircut would throw people off and convince them she was someone else, but if they right person looked at Pidge hard enough, her disguise would eventually fall away to show a little girl that was breaking into a government facility. She just needed to keep her head low and find the information she needed to bring Matt and her father home.

It didn't take long for the Garrison teachers to score her entree tests and assign her to a team. She walked to the board where team results were to be posted, waiting patiently for the cadets crowded around it to clear out of her way so she could see. It was times like these she wished she was a bit taller.

A tall, lean boy suddenly let out an excited whoop as he hugged his much larger friend. The boy had darker skin and short brown hair. His eyes were blue like the ocean and full of a certain mischief. His friend was a tall, dark skinned boy with very dark brown hair and brown eyes. He wore an orange headband and looked a tad nervous to even be there.

"I made it! I'm a fighter class pilot! Hasta la later, Keith!" The blue-eyed boy cheered, "And look, you're my engineer."

"Oh, cool, um… can I do that from the ground?" His friend asked.

Blue eyes just ignored him and looked over the chart again.

"And our communications officer is… who the heck is Pidge Gunderson?" The blue-eyed boy asked. Pidge jerked her head up in surprise. Those boys were her teammates? Really? The blue-eyed kid seemed so immature already and his friend seemed too nervous to be of any use.

"Right here." She vocalized. It didn't matter if they were any good to her as a team or not. They school wasn't her mission. Gathering intel was. If the duo did enough to keep her in the program until she could get what she needed.

"Welcome to the team, Grunderson." The blue-eyed boy introduced, "I'm Lance, your fighter pilot." Pidge raised an eyebrow. Lance McClain? The boy she was originally supposed to room with. Man, she could tell she'd dodged a bullet by rearranging their rooms.

"Hey, I'm Hunk." His friend said shyly. She curtly nodded at them, not all too focused on them. She had noticed Iverson speaking to an officer in the other hall. Her eyes narrowed on them as she focused on that conversation instead.

"Security for the Galaxy Garrison's mainframe is our first priority. It's been breached once, and by a little girl, no less. It cannot happen again!" Iverson barked at the officer as they passed by her and the other two cadets. She quickly threw her arm up in a solute, not meeting his stare. This would be the moment of truth. Would he recognize her? Would he throw her out?

"Wrong arm cadet." He scolded immediately, not even recognizing her for who she really was. She let out a sigh of relief before being pulled back into reality.

"Hello? Pizza? Girls? Astronauts?" Lance listed, trying to get her attention. Pidge scowled for a moment at the idea of flirting with girls and hanging out with Lance and Hunk to maintain her cover. She had grown up with a brother, yes, but she also knew boys did weird things together. She was doing to have to act like they did just so that they would be convinced she was a young cadet boy and not a female spy. Not wanting to respond immediately to Lance's suggestions, which make her internally cringe, she just gave him a blank stare.

"Sorry, I don't have time to mess around with you guys. See you in the simulator." She turned abruptly, going down the path Iverson had taken in hopes to overhear something useful. She, for a moment, was grateful she'd dodged a bullet with the boys. Hanging out with them would have likely exposed her. She knew that girls and guys really did act very different when left to their own devices, and she probably wouldn't fit the given criteria.

"What's his problem?" She overheard Lance huff. She winced.

"Please," She muttered, "Please let this work."


	7. Chapter 7

**I Do Not Own Voltron.**

* * *

Seven: When He Was With Her

When he was with her, life had been easy to enjoy. He could make her laugh and smile. He would tease and poke fun at her. Likewise, she would do the same. They were sister and brother. They stuck together. They watched out for each other. That's how things were supposed to be, but with him gone, things were different.

Admittedly, life at the Garrison was easier than she'd expected it. Training, classes, breaks, repeat. It was a fairly redundant schedule the Garrison had her and the cadets following. It was a mistake that she gladly exploited. As long as she knew what came next in the schedules and was able to keep up her work in the Garrison, she could easily slip away and investigate various places in the Garrison without anyone giving her so much as a second look.

Well, almost. Lance, the world's most annoying leader, was constantly asking where she was and trying to persuade her to hang out with him and Hunk. She admitted that the boy's intentions were nice, but he kept getting in the way of her working and prying to get information from her. He was distracting, annoying, and he seemed more interested in causing trouble and flirting with girls than he seemed interested in activities she'd enjoy. She wasn't about to get in trouble and draw unwanted attention to herself, and flirting was the most awkward thing in the world. Sure, she would sometimes admire a few Garrsion Cadet boys she thought she liked, but she couldn't tell Lance that. He thought she was a boy, and therefore, wouldn't understand. So, instead, she fought with the boy to keep herself from being roped into some sort of double date scheme that she knew would turn out all kinds of bad. Eventually, Lance gave up on trying to set Pidge up on a date.

"You're way too timid around girls. You just don't have the style or charm that I do." He had declared. But his random offhanded remarks about Pidge's singleness at lunch never went unnoticed.

That wasn't even the worst part about Lance's ambitions. The boy was curious. Very, very curious. He was constantly asking her random questions about herself. He obviously wanted to know her better, but she didn't want to know Lance or Hunk any more than she had to. She had a mission. Save her family. Friends like Lance and Hunk were too much of a distraction to bother with. Sure, they seemed nice enough, no matter how terribly they managed simulations or how bad of a flirt Lance was. But they kept her from her real mission. They kept her from finding Matt.

"So, Pidge?" Lance asked suddenly one day at lunch, "Do you have any siblings?" Pidge had nearly choked on her meal at that question. She glared up at him.

"Why?" She practically growled at the Cuban boy.

"Because I have a lot of siblings. I'm the youngest." Lance laughed, "Hunk has his cousins, and I was wondering about your family. You never talk about them. So, do you have any siblings?" Pidge scowled. She stood abruptly, taking her tray with her.

"It's none of your business." She grumbled, her thoughts already racing to those fond memories of her and Matt playing together as kids and growing up together. Always there for each other.

Lance seemed taken aback by the response.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know." He said, standing and putting a and on her shoulder, "You don't have to talk about them if you don't want to, I was just curious." She cocked her head to the side, peering at him in confusion. This wasn't the Lance she was used to. The normal Lance would have nagged her and nagged her until she relented her information. Yet here he was, apologizing.

"I'm an only child." She croaked, lying to the pilot. Lance looked surprised.

"Really?" He asked, "I could have sworn you weren't. You are way too good at avoiding pestering."

"Really." She deadpanned, pulling away. He just smirked.

"Don't worry, Pidge! Hunk and I will be your siblings. We three are like brother now, you know? We have to be there for each other, because that's what brother do!" Lance cheered. Hunk eagerly nodded.

"Yeah, I already feel closer to you to already!" The mechanic chuckled nervously. Pidge's scowled lightened. She thought about Matt.

"We have to be there for each other." He had once said, "You and I will always be together. Matt and Katie, the Holt children. Smartest people in the universe! I'll always be with you, Pidge."

Pidge smiled at the memory.

"Yeah, I guess so." She mumbled to Lance before leaving the pilot smirking where he stood and throwing away the rest of her lunch. As she did, she sent a fond smile back towards Lance and Hunk, who had already moved on from bothering her to seeing how many cartons of milk they could chug. They were some random sometimes. Just like how Matt used to be. Where all boys so weird? She watched the two friends for a moment longer and decided that the answer was yes.

"You'd get along with Lance pretty well, I think." She said aloud, "He's as annoying as you used to be… and you'd like Hunk too. He's such a nice guy, even though he's shy. I wish I could get to know them more but…" She shook her head an looked away from the duo. She walked out of the cafeteria.

"...I have to focus on saving my real brother first. Those two are just gonna keep me from reaching that goal." She said, her heart dropping a little at the thought, "Too bad though. I'm sorry guys. But I can't." She stopped in the hall, looking around the area before reaching into her backpack and pulling out a flash drive.

"Besides." She muttered, "Who has time for friends when there's work to be done. Don't you worry, Matt. You'll be with me again soon."


End file.
